now – Page 3 – strengthdefined

Believe

Believe that you have worth

And are worthy

Believe in your dreams, especially the ones

Hidden away that you are too afraid to unlock

For fear of failure… those dreams will change you & the world!

Believe that your life has meaning

You were made to be great and to be awesome!

Believe that voice that whispers…

You can… when you fear that you can’t take

One more step

Believe in taking a breath

And seeing the beauty that is all around you

Every day, right now

Believe that you are essential

You are irreplaceable and needed

Believe in God who is longing to be good to you

Wanting you to be captivated by Him

Believe in hope and your future

Your purpose in this life is bigger than you realize

Or could wish for

Believe in the power of your words

Call your circumstances forward as you want them to be

Not as they are

Believe in greater

Believe in that little child version of you who was so fearful and just wanted to be held

In their Mother’s arms…from the moment you were born you were

Hers and she loved you

Believe that you are wanted and cherished

Believe in strength and endurance for all that you’ve gone through

For it has molded you into your purpose, not your wall.

Believe in quiet, that stillness that gives you pause, a breath

So deep your soul perches in happiness as you close

Your eyes, if only for a moment for that break

That connection to something bigger and greater than yourself

Believe in yourself! That you can do anything you set your mind to!

Believe in victory & joy, it’s OK to laugh and be happy

You deserve it

Believe in giggles and belly laughter

Believe that you are loved more than you can comprehend

Believe in beauty, beauty draws us to God

Believe in the radiance that is in you

Seek that hidden part of your heart

For it is that part you and others so

Desperately need

Believe in change

Believe you can and you will

Believe in now, that everything is exactly how it should be

For now

Believe in the love you poured into others and to

Your children…it was not wasted.

It did make a difference

Believe you make a difference to those around you

To family, to friends, to strangers, to life

To live

Simply Believe

Been Here

When it seems like I have been here forever

I dream of the rustic, tree lined mountain top

And my rock overlooking the city

Where I sit for hours

To contemplate life

Scented wild flowers unplug my

City polluted nostrils

I run free as can be, smiling

A fuzzy brown rabbit scurries under the tree

The sun winks down

My thoughts carry back to you

Stirring from my daydream

I look out the dusty window

Watch as the heavy fog crowds in around the city

It begins to rain

A deep sigh escapes my lips

I return to my work

It seems like I have been here forever

Be Brave

Be brave

Be bold

Be creative

Stay authentic

Stay courageous

You are worthy

For all you have coming

The best is yet to come

For you

Have hope

Be expectant

I will miss you

I will cry

But I know

You will fly

Do great things

Write that book

Change the world

Find the love of your life

Be intentional

Feel your feels

Heal

Grow- more than you have before

I am your biggest fan

And champion- forever

Be Brave

*For Karina V.- yes you CAN

Jeni Taylor

For What It’s Worth…

For what it’s worth:

It’s never too late or,

in my case, too early to be

whoever you want to be.

There’s no limit,

stop whenever you want.

You can change or stay the same,

There are no rules

To this thing. We can make

the best or the worst of it.

I hope you make the best of it.

And I hope you

see things that startle you.

I hope you feel things

You never felt before.

I hope you meet people with

A different point of view.

I hope you live a life

You’re proud of. If you

find that you’re not, I hope

you have the courage

To start all over again.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

It’s OK

It’s ok to be vulnerable

It’s ok to be sad

To be happy

To feel elation

Passion

To tell your story

Share your love

Fragility

Without brokenness

Is possible

With acceptance

Of your tribe

Of yourself

When you look

Really look

Into your own eyes

And see the depths

Of your own soul

Staring back

Change anything?

Do it

Need something?

Ask

Don’t mourn what isn’t

Have joy for what could be

What will be

Stay open

Keep pressing

Never look back

Stop tripping

Over your past hauntings

You’re beyond all that

You’re not going that way

You are enough

Even in your fragility

It’s who you are

And it’s

A Lady Bug Kind of Day

Oh Mommy- is that my lady bug?

Can you get her for me?

Giddy daughter, five years old

Hopping from one foot to the other

I watered the hanging plants in the back yard

I gently let a lady bug crawl on my finger

Transferred the lady bug to an outstretched mini finger

She grinned from ear-to-ear

Shhh now, don’t scare her

A loud whisper roared, “Oh- I won’t Mommy, I won’t!”

“She likes me Mommy! Look at her go”

Hopping up & down

The lady bug roamed from finger to hand

Hand to elbow

Elbow to shoulder

And back down again

Little Miss stood frozen watching her go

“Oh Mommy- look at her, isn’t she beautiful?”

Yes, yes she is and I was not talking about the lady bug

My deaf Australian shepherd crawled into my lap

Her bright blue eyes mimic the Florida sky

I kissed her soft, fuzzy head

We watched the traveling lady bug

Travel on little fingers next to us

A lady bug kind of day

To reflect about the beauty of the wind,

The sunshine, priorities & what they should be

A lady bug kind of day

To reflect on TODAY

To appreciate, recognize, feel and connect

To those we love & that matter most

Or should

Shhhh… don’t scare your lady bug!

“Oh, I’m not Mommy- look at her go”

Lady bug perched on a freckled little shoulder

Time, goes so fast as we age

One day we’ll wake up to a quiet house

Empty rooms

Lady bugs a faded memory

What does your legacy look like?

What are you fighting for?

Five year old is fast asleep

Upset that she couldn’t bring her lady bug inside

Maybe I should have woken her

To find a few more lady bugs together

That’s what our days should be for

A lady bug kind of day

The Bike Was Green

Christmas Day

The homeless came

Needy

Hungry

Scared

Tired

I see him

Huddled with his family

Together at one table

Crouching low, I smile at him

He refuses to look at me

Grandmother with missing teeth

Hisses, “He’s a freak!”

Rocking back on my heels I falter

A freak?

I tap his small thin shoulder

“That’s OK- I’m a freak too!”

Unity! His head snaps up, a bright smile

Connection!

We are both freaks

His crusty plate of eggs get gulped up within 30 seconds

I retch watching

Tears pool in my eyes

The only meal he’ll get today

I slide a mini-candy bar towards him

Smile grows brighter

Brown eyes twinkle

Candy bar destroyed in less than 1.5 seconds

Behind me I hear the rustle of gifts distributed

His gift is a used bike

The bike was green

Bright green with white racing stripes

A torn white seat; sealed with gray duct tape

At age seven, his first bike all his own

His smile illuminating like the sun

Bear hug

Racing out the door

Zooming his bright green bike

Zigging left, zagging right

We deliver more food to his home

The shack of a home

Bricks cracking

Stairs broken

Roof sloped and tattered

A 10X10 shack housing six or more

Sweet black kitten with ribs jutting out

Meows softly a warm hello winding around my ankle

We unload our small donations

Greeted with tears and elation

There he goes

Jumping on his bike

Zigging left, zagging right

The bike was green

The smile was blinding

Jeni McCreary

*** Reflection of our volunteer time during Christmas at a homeless shelter

EIGHT Second Chances

How many second chances

Do we get at this life?

Don’t you feel destined

To do amazing things

In your life? Urgency pounding

I’ve been handed

EIGHT second chances

1st Second Chance

In Utero my Mom

Kept falling while 8 months

Pregnant, hospitalized

To prevent her from falling

Alcohol poisoning

A projectile vomiter

Rough beginnings

2nd Second Chance

Early twenties

An ovarian tumor

Led to emergency surgery

That led to a second surgery

That led to 10 months

Of hell

On Lupron

A plan prepared

Ready to execute

But the phone rang, my Dad:

“Don’t know where your head is at now, but don’t do it!”

3rd Second Chance

Late 20’s, pre-eclampsia

32.6 weeks pregnant

14 days in the hospital

5 pounds of fluid filled my lungs

Over night

Pulmonary edema

Kidneys failing

Liver not far behind

Emergency C-section

3#, 9 oz baby girl arrived

While I fought for my life

For over 36 hours

To live

To meet my daughter

4th Second Chance

Business trip

Left engine on plane blew up

Stewardess screaming:

“We’re on fire, we’re on fire- we are all going to die!”

5th Second Chance

A devastating hysterectomy

With the gift of my doctor spotting

Something wrong with my appendix

A carcinoid tumor

If ruptured- a death sentence

I mourned inability to not have more children …but

Blessed to be alive

6th Second Chance

After a toe joint replaced

Got super sick

Hospitalized for 14 days

Diagnosis, “we think you have leukemia”

Do I have enough life insurance?

Bone marrow test- BEYOND unpleasant

Ruled leukemia out… but

7th Second Chance

“We think you contracted

West Valley Fever when you went to

Nevada”

Mom was dying

Worse mortality rate

Than leukemia

Over 6 months

Scans

Sinus scrapes

7 doctors on deck

Final diagnosis:

“You just have really bad luck”

8th Second Chance

Insane bladder infection

With a deadly antibiotic resistant bug

I was sent home on intravenous

Line in my arm

Self administered heavy duty

Antibiotics into my body

3 times a day, 3 weeks

Another Doc said:

“You just have really bad luck”

I know I’m meant to do amazing things in this life

Never take your life for granted

Focus on your now

Spend quality time with

Your family & friends

Dream

Set goals

Achieve those goals

Have courage

And love

With all you’ve got

No regrets

Craving Everything

I’ll keep stepping

Because that is what I do

Disappointment vibrates

Through me

Lack of authenticity

Sorely lacking

Thoughts in head

Disappear

Like a vapor

Dust

It was never real

It was never going to be enough

The mantra repeats-

Enough is never good enough

Toe-to-toe I fold

Like the Edvard Munich painting

Screaming

Bummed at the loss

Of nothing

But

Craving everything

Only Son

An only child gone

Wrong choices

Weary decisions

Father sobbing in arms wondering why

Son couldn’t

Wouldn’t listen

Too late… He’s gone.

Brutal, sad tears

A son, an only child gone too soon

His two year old daughter eating crackers perplexed by the crying.

Why was everyone crying?

Where was her Daddy?

Why will he never tuck her in again?

Kiss her forehead?

A whisper

Our life is but a whisper

We better live it like a roar

The son asked for Jesus to forgive him… Over and over again

The Polish Priest administered last rites…

He found peace

Now may his family

Only son