Tag: art
Roller coaster
Grief like a roller coaster
Up
Down
High
Low
Up has been longer
Until recently
Seeing your blue eyes everywhere
Your silly sneezes
Your outlandish sunglasses
Orange skies painted just for me
Reached for the phone
Wishing we could chat
Talked out loud to you several times
Need some solid Mama advice
Louie Armstrong randomly played,
“La Vie En Rose”
Closing my eyes and oh the memories…
Your awful singing
Our awkward dancing
Falling into each other’s arms laughing
Need you now more than ever
Your paintings everywhere
They make me happy
Headed to Vegas & I wonder
Will I find you there?
Vegas your home for over 22 years
The memories
The missing
The joy
Of you… everywhere
Grief like a roller coaster
Up
Down
High
Low
image: Google image
Time
Repentance to others takes time
Often it’s never enough
Wounds are too deep
For others to accept
Salt water may cleanse the wound
But healing takes patience & time
Time we don’t have
Imagination is worse than reality
Yet reality can’t be heard
Or processed
Leaving wounds open
Picking at wounds never help
Picking at scabs when close to healing
Opens everything again
Prayers go up
And up
And up
And up
Where is the faith?
Lost it along the way?
No repentance will offer resolution
Or acceptance
Or forgiveness
Maybe forgiveness comes
In just letting go
Of the wounds?
Of each other?
Of the past?
Of the hurt?
Acceptance that things will never be the same again
Regardless of forgiveness
The decision that it is done
Done done
When do the wounds heal?
What makes repentance meaningful?
When does healing come?
Mentally?
Emotionally?
Physically?
Let go and let God?
Easier said than done
Wounds ooze as they heal
The process takes time
Time is something we don’t have
Or do we?
You
Will
When
You’re
Ready
Time
Only Guests
Humidity over 110%
Blue sky
Puffy white clouds
Mouths open in awe
Taking it all in
Architecture
Cuban cigars & smoke
Everywhere
Cobblestone streets hundreds of years old
Pimp in green shirt
Has right boxing ear
Fast talker
Encourages us to go to hidden location
Goods 50% off
Our brave leader disappears
With a local panhandler to look at cigars
We stand in the heaviness
Of a local alley
Reminded that we don’t belong here
Only guests traveling through
Locals stare, unwelcome faces
Some swear at us in Spanish
Some curse us
Others cat call our beautiful teenagers
Mamas on guard ready to scrap
Stern local police with shot guns
Stare at us like we’re crazy
I believe we may be
The only guests traveling this ally
We surely took a wrong turn
Leader asks police for picture
Now they’re contemplating sending
Crazy Americans to jail
Coffee or shotgun
We choose coffee sprinting away
Dogs with ribs jut out
Running the streets mangy & hungry
They seek solace with us
The pet loving Americans
Santeria priests & priestesses everywhere
Unnerving everyone
Oh the Cuban coffee smells divine
Beautiful cafes
Ropa vieja
Black beans & rice
Mangy kitty with a heart in fur welcomes us to fine dining in the rain
Salsa music
Maracas
Pregnant women asking for milk for their babies
Havana rum
Mojitos
Fairy forest in the city that is surreal
Locals every color, eyes vary & stunning
Not much joy in many of those eyes
An occasional smile
Old sexy cars in a time warp
The best of the city feels harsh yet beautiful
Rustic doors, metal work
Laughter with friends & family
Sweating from the heat
Wet from the rain
We are guests that don’t really belong
But honor our incredible surroundings
Beaming in simply being together
Catching glimpses of all the beauty & nuances that make up this incredible city of Havana, Cuba (7/12/18)
photos: H. McCreary
Jasper’s Looking Glass
Jasper grab your petticoat
Lift it high about your head
Can you feel the blowing cotton tickle your belly button?
Did you hear the thunder Jasper?
Can you feel the wind?
Don’t you think we really ought to go in?
Mommy is calling Jasper
Gather your things
Oh your dress is so lovely
Do you think Mommy will mind the mud?
Bright eyes, a gently scolding from a beautiful person
How clear her eyes sparkle in the dark
Roll over Jasper,
Don’t hug your knees
You’re ok as long as you’re with me
Life plays its tricks
Time goes by
How the laughter went unnoticed
Is it really true that time heals all wounds?
I don’t feel release of this fire
See the embers Jasper?
Watch them glow
Didn’t you know?
That they would burn and blister?
But they say time heals all wounds
Can you truly forget?
By and by I long,
I yearn
When will the strings of sadness stop to pull
And smiles begin to start?
They don’t
How come?
Do I have to love in sadness?
You will always love
I won’t…
You do now
I know
White petticoat, bare feet
My how you’ve grown since I last saw you
You remember me?
A twitch a glow, something forgotten
I would rather stop and slow then know
That my love was never enough
At least from me to you and around again
How much did you love me?
You knew
I didn’t
You said, you made your choice
I am sorry
It stings
I know
You couldn’t possibly remember
I wish I could
But never cared
Never needed to
How lonely for you
Jasper? Are you asleep?
Wake up my dear and drink your tea
Wait- someone is calling me…
Don’t go!
You are dreaming!
I always will
Listen to reality
I feel it, I don’t need to listen
Hold on
I am
Tell him
I have
Love him
I do
Always?
Yes
Good-night Jasper
Good-bye
My how you’ve grown
Never enough
Never is not good enough
What a fool
Only to you
Sweet dreams
I’ll always…
Always?
Always
Good-bye then
Farewell
Jasper lifts up her hands as her petticoat floats above her head.
A hint of a smile shows on her lips
Knowing that one day
She’ll be ok
Bull in a China Shop
Hard lined, edgy
Frustrated, wanting more
Enough is never good enough
Twelve years old
I can do it by myself
Never to return again
To a mother’s arms
Wall so tall
Run straight to conflict
Hard issues- handled
Tough jobs- done
Delicate tea cups- crushed
I don’t need anybody or anything
Castle
Twenty-five years later
In the middle of a class
God decides to push
The healing button
Twenty pairs of eyes, on me
Hysteria
Alligator tears
Soaked shirt
Tear stained notes
Best friends and family
Who hold my hands
And smile
Oh so knowing smiles
No one appears to be surprised
But me
I’ve spent my entire life
In conflict
Survival
A bull
Snorting
Raging
In a china shop
Quieted now for a time
Refined, changed
Delicate tea cups
Expectantly waiting
Catching rain
Healing rain
Bring the rain
Jeni M.
PHOTO BY: Dan Gee “Bull in a China Shop”, American Fine Art
Been Here
When it seems like I have been here forever
I dream of the rustic, tree lined mountain top
And my rock overlooking the city
Where I sit for hours
To contemplate life
Scented wild flowers unplug my
City polluted nostrils
I run free as can be, smiling
A fuzzy brown rabbit scurries under the tree
The sun winks down
My thoughts carry back to you
Stirring from my daydream
I look out the dusty window
Watch as the heavy fog crowds in around the city
It begins to rain
A deep sigh escapes my lips
I return to my work
It seems like I have been here forever
Be Brave
Be brave
Be bold
Be creative
Stay authentic
Stay courageous
You are worthy
For all you have coming
The best is yet to come
For you
Have hope
Be expectant
I will miss you
I will cry
But I know
You will fly
Do great things
Write that book
Change the world
Find the love of your life
Be intentional
Feel your feels
Heal
Grow- more than you have before
I am your biggest fan
And champion- forever
Be Brave
*For Karina V.- yes you CAN
Jeni McCreary
It’s OK
It’s ok to be vulnerable
It’s ok to be sad
To be happy
To feel elation
Passion
To tell your story
Share your love
Fragility
Without brokenness
Is possible
With acceptance
Of your tribe
Of yourself
When you look
Really look
Into your own eyes
And see the depths
Of your own soul
Staring back
Change anything?
Do it
Need something?
Ask
Don’t mourn what isn’t
Have joy for what could be
What will be
Stay open
Keep pressing
Never look back
Stop tripping
Over your past hauntings
You’re beyond all that
You’re not going that way
You are enough
Even in your fragility
It’s who you are
And it’s
OK
A Lady Bug Kind of Day
Oh Mommy- is that my lady bug?
Can you get her for me?
Giddy daughter, five years old
Hopping from one foot to the other
I watered the hanging plants in the back yard
I gently let a lady bug crawl on my finger
Transferred the lady bug to an outstretched mini finger
She grinned from ear-to-ear
Shhh now, don’t scare her
A loud whisper roared, “Oh- I won’t Mommy, I won’t!”
“She likes me Mommy! Look at her go”
Hopping up & down
The lady bug roamed from finger to hand
Hand to elbow
Elbow to shoulder
And back down again
Little Miss stood frozen watching her go
“Oh Mommy- look at her, isn’t she beautiful?”
Yes, yes she is and I was not talking about the lady bug
My deaf Australian shepherd crawled into my lap
Her bright blue eyes mimic the Florida sky
I kissed her soft, fuzzy head
We watched the traveling lady bug
Travel on little fingers next to us
A lady bug kind of day
To reflect about the beauty of the wind,
The sunshine, priorities & what they should be
A lady bug kind of day
To reflect on TODAY
To appreciate, recognize, feel and connect
To those we love & that matter most
Or should
Shhhh… don’t scare your lady bug!
“Oh, I’m not Mommy- look at her go”
Lady bug perched on a freckled little shoulder
Time, goes so fast as we age
One day we’ll wake up to a quiet house
Empty rooms
Lady bugs a faded memory
What does your legacy look like?
What are you fighting for?
Five year old is fast asleep
Upset that she couldn’t bring her lady bug inside
Maybe I should have woken her
To find a few more lady bugs together
That’s what our days should be for
A lady bug kind of day
strengthdefined 