Unconditionally

You have something to say

But throat constricts

In fear

Can you be raw

Even in the hurt

I’ll take you

Wounded

Even with poor examples

Giving forgiveness

Sitting at your feet

Sweating

Just wanting you to know

I love you anyway 

Regardless of your mistakes

Simply because I choose you

Unconditionally

Resilience

Light fractures into the bedroom

Sleepy eyes watching from bed

The prisms of light kiss the walls

And rebound around the room

Close my eyes

Not ready to get up

Sadness vibrating

Mourning what feels like

Everything

I dose again- not the normal

Three hours later

I open my eyes

Only to see light dancing

Across the bedroom wall

The floor shimmers

Where did my resilience go?

I was born tough

But not today

I close my eyes again

Sinking deep under the covers

Images and faces haunt me

I fall back to sleep

Crying

1 p.m. I wake again, swollen-eyes

Mourning

Light still resilient, patiently

Fracturing the walls and floor

I raise my hand and trace the light with my fingertips

The shimmering patterns of the sunshine is

Beautiful

I am beautiful

My heart, my mind, my body

Is beautiful

Deep sigh, inhale a long breath in

I force myself out of bed

The dogs are waiting for me at the bedroom door

I step

Trying to shake off the heaviness of

Life decisions

Hard decisions

My resilience feels

Shakey

I put on boxing gloves

And begin to pound the heavy bag

I am strong

I am tough

I am remarkable

The sunshine continues to fracture around me

Circling me in its beautiful, dancing light

It is resilient

So am I

Don’t Waste Any More Time

It was a Monday

Laid up at home

Left kidney screaming

Flopping around like a fish

Anxious, turned on Oprah

Topic of ‘dying’ with

Dr. Pausch’s last lecture

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

Pondering

Thinking

Crying

What would you do different

If you knew you were going to die in 3-6 months?

What would you change and why?

Why wait?

Don’t wait

Don’t waste any more time

Your life is calling

Are you listening?

Listen

You are

You do

You can

You will

Don’t waste any more time

Jerry Miller

A little bit brash

A whole lot of funny

Best damn mango martini’s you’ll ever have

The love of his ladies

All over his face when he stood watching each of you

Each of you fly and grow and become the beautiful women

That you are today

He’s proud and honored

To call you wife, daughter, granddaughter, friend, family…

A mentor

A champion

A fighter

Hilarious

His eyes twinkled mischievously and

That laugh

My God what a laugh with head tipped back

Or slapping a knee

He believed anything was possible

With hard work

Focus

And a little pain…

You carry on

You must

Stay bold

As he was

He wouldn’t want it

Any other way

Jeni McCreary

*Jerry Miller 1/6/2017 RIP

Bull in a China Shop

Hard lined, edgy

Frustrated, wanting more

Enough is never good enough

Twelve years old

I can do it by myself

Never to return again

To a mother’s arms

Wall so tall

Run straight to conflict

Hard issues- handled

Tough jobs- done

Delicate tea cups- crushed

I don’t need anybody or anything

Castle

Twenty-five years later

In the middle of a class

God decides to push

The healing button

Twenty pairs of eyes, on me

Hysteria

Alligator tears

Soaked shirt

Tear stained notes

Best friends and family

Who hold my hands

And smile

Oh so knowing smiles

No one appears to be surprised

But me

I’ve spent my entire life

In conflict

Survival

A bull

Snorting

Raging

In a china shop

Quieted now for a time

Refined, changed

Delicate tea cups

Expectantly waiting

Catching rain

Healing rain

Bring the rain

Jeni M.

PHOTO BY: Dan Gee “Bull in a China Shop”, American Fine Art

Been Here

When it seems like I have been here forever

I dream of the rustic, tree lined mountain top

And my rock overlooking the city

Where I sit for hours

To contemplate life

Scented wild flowers unplug my

City polluted nostrils

I run free as can be, smiling

A fuzzy brown rabbit scurries under the tree

The sun winks down

My thoughts carry back to you

Stirring from my daydream

I look out the dusty window

Watch as the heavy fog crowds in around the city

It begins to rain

A deep sigh escapes my lips

I return to my work

It seems like I have been here forever

For What It’s Worth…

For what it’s worth:

It’s never too late or,

in my case, too early to be

whoever you want to be.

There’s no limit,

stop whenever you want.

You can change or stay the same,

There are no rules

To this thing. We can make

the best or the worst of it.

I hope you make the best of it.

And I hope you

see things that startle you.

I hope you feel things

You never felt before.

I hope you meet people with

A different point of view.

I hope you live a life

You’re proud of. If you

find that you’re not, I hope

you have the courage

To start all over again.

F. Scott Fitzgerald