Anesthesia Fog

I woke in the recovery room 

To the smell of hospital soap and anesthesia

The sound of the beeping heart monitor 

The IV gurgling in my veins

Bleary-eyed I tried to focus on the Doctor’s voice 

He rubbed my hand, “We had to do a hysterectomy”

I gulped, eyes closed, anesthesia lulling me back to sleep

I opened one eye, trying to focus on the nurse, 

“Did I hear that correctly? Did he say hysterectomy?” 

“Yes.” 

I remember turning my head and looking out the window

The sky was cloudy and gray

It was going to storm

Lightening flashed in the distance

My eyes grew heavy once again

I succumbed to the anesthesia fog 

And remembered thinking, 

“But we had already picked your name…”

Zombies

They walk
Some fast
Some slow
Some confused
Angry faces
Perplexed faces
Not too many
Smiling
Not too much
Joy
Rushing
Feeling the grind
The get there now
No patience
Time ticks
Loudly
Life is passing
Us by
Risky?
Play it safe?
What
Brings
You peace?
What
Brings
You hope?
Lonely?
Keep moving
Find your self
In the jostling
In the hum
The drum
The heartbeat
Of the
Zombies in life
That push
And shove
Through the
Sea of others doing
The
Same
Thing
Just getting by
The happy
One day when
Not for me
No thanks
Observing
The sludge
The pounding
Of my heart
Of a life truly lived
I don’t regret
My courage
My candor
My truth
My shoulders back
I meet gazes
Directly
Not ashamed
Of who I am
Rocking purple lipstick
Shoulders back
A grin
I see you
I really see
The good
The bad
The ugly
The beauty
The colors
That push by
In a flurry and a scurry
Am I different?
Thank God I am
Hand to chest
I feel my
Own heartbeat
And I smile
Grateful
To be alive
To be
Here
Now
This
Very moment
In an airport
Jostling around
Eyes meeting
I see you
In the jostling
In the hum
The drum
The heartbeat
Of the
Zombies in life
Passing by
Too quickly
Missing
Everything