Resilience

Light fractures into the bedroom

Sleepy eyes watching from bed

The prisms of light kiss the walls

And rebound around the room

Close my eyes

Not ready to get up

Sadness vibrating

Mourning what feels like

Everything

I dose again- not the normal

Three hours later

I open my eyes

Only to see light dancing

Across the bedroom wall

The floor shimmers

Where did my resilience go?

I was born tough

But not today

I close my eyes again

Sinking deep under the covers

Images and faces haunt me

I fall back to sleep

Crying

1 p.m. I wake again, swollen-eyes

Mourning

Light still resilient, patiently

Fracturing the walls and floor

I raise my hand and trace the light with my fingertips

The shimmering patterns of the sunshine is

Beautiful

I am beautiful

My heart, my mind, my body

Is beautiful

Deep sigh, inhale a long breath in

I force myself out of bed

The dogs are waiting for me at the bedroom door

I step

Trying to shake off the heaviness of

Life decisions

Hard decisions

My resilience feels

Shakey

I put on boxing gloves

And begin to pound the heavy bag

I am strong

I am tough

I am remarkable

The sunshine continues to fracture around me

Circling me in its beautiful, dancing light

It is resilient

So am I

Author: Jeni McCreary

Many have shared that I am the strongest woman they know. I would disagree... when life kicks you in the teeth there is only one place to look and that is UP. Life within the last six years has been difficult in having lost my father, mother, step-mom, two brothers, nephew, mother-in-law & five beloved dogs. Grief can alter your trajectory a bit...so I write. This blog will be my random thoughts, my hopes, my dreams, defining my strength and my faith. I'm honest, raw and real. If you don't like that... that's ok...I'm writing more for me than you. Maybe someone will find this blog and my words will help you in some small way.

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