Bull in a China Shop

Hard lined, edgy

Frustrated, wanting more

Enough is never good enough

Twelve years old

I can do it by myself

Never to return again

To a mother’s arms

Wall so tall

Run straight to conflict

Hard issues- handled

Tough jobs- done

Delicate tea cups- crushed

I don’t need anybody or anything

Castle

Twenty-five years later

In the middle of a class

God decides to push

The healing button

Twenty pairs of eyes, on me

Hysteria

Alligator tears

Soaked shirt

Tear stained notes

Best friends and family

Who hold my hands

And smile

Oh so knowing smiles

No one appears to be surprised

But me

I’ve spent my entire life

In conflict

Survival

A bull

Snorting

Raging

In a china shop

Quieted now for a time

Refined, changed

Delicate tea cups

Expectantly waiting

Catching rain

Healing rain

Bring the rain

Jeni M.

PHOTO BY: Dan Gee “Bull in a China Shop”, American Fine Art

Believe

Believe that you have worth

And are worthy

Believe in your dreams, especially the ones

Hidden away that you are too afraid to unlock

For fear of failure… those dreams will change you & the world!

Believe that your life has meaning

You were made to be great and to be awesome!

Believe that voice that whispers…

You can… when you fear that you can’t take

One more step

Believe in taking a breath

And seeing the beauty that is all around you

Every day, right now

Believe that you are essential

You are irreplaceable and needed

Believe in God who is longing to be good to you

Wanting you to be captivated by Him

Believe in hope and your future

Your purpose in this life is bigger than you realize

Or could wish for

Believe in the power of your words

Call your circumstances forward as you want them to be

Not as they are

Believe in greater

Believe in that little child version of you who was so fearful and just wanted to be held

In their Mother’s arms…from the moment you were born you were

Hers and she loved you

Believe that you are wanted and cherished

Believe in strength and endurance for all that you’ve gone through

For it has molded you into your purpose, not your wall.

Believe in quiet, that stillness that gives you pause, a breath

So deep your soul perches in happiness as you close

Your eyes, if only for a moment for that break

That connection to something bigger and greater than yourself

Believe in yourself! That you can do anything you set your mind to!

Believe in victory & joy, it’s OK to laugh and be happy

You deserve it

Believe in giggles and belly laughter

Believe that you are loved more than you can comprehend

Believe in beauty, beauty draws us to God

Believe in the radiance that is in you

Seek that hidden part of your heart

For it is that part you and others so

Desperately need

Believe in change

Believe you can and you will

Believe in now, that everything is exactly how it should be

For now

Believe in the love you poured into others and to

Your children…it was not wasted.

It did make a difference

Believe you make a difference to those around you

To family, to friends, to strangers, to life

To live

Simply Believe

Been Here

When it seems like I have been here forever

I dream of the rustic, tree lined mountain top

And my rock overlooking the city

Where I sit for hours

To contemplate life

Scented wild flowers unplug my

City polluted nostrils

I run free as can be, smiling

A fuzzy brown rabbit scurries under the tree

The sun winks down

My thoughts carry back to you

Stirring from my daydream

I look out the dusty window

Watch as the heavy fog crowds in around the city

It begins to rain

A deep sigh escapes my lips

I return to my work

It seems like I have been here forever

Be Brave

Be brave

Be bold

Be creative

Stay authentic

Stay courageous

You are worthy

For all you have coming

The best is yet to come

For you

Have hope

Be expectant

I will miss you

I will cry

But I know

You will fly

Do great things

Write that book

Change the world

Find the love of your life

Be intentional

Feel your feels

Heal

Grow- more than you have before

I am your biggest fan

And champion- forever

Be Brave

*For Karina V.- yes you CAN

Jeni McCreary

 

 

 

For What It’s Worth…

For what it’s worth:

It’s never too late or,

in my case, too early to be

whoever you want to be.

There’s no limit,

stop whenever you want.

You can change or stay the same,

There are no rules

To this thing. We can make

the best or the worst of it.

I hope you make the best of it.

And I hope you

see things that startle you.

I hope you feel things

You never felt before.

I hope you meet people with

A different point of view.

I hope you live a life

You’re proud of. If you

find that you’re not, I hope

you have the courage

To start all over again.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

 

 

 

It’s OK

It’s ok to be vulnerable

It’s ok to be sad

To be happy

To feel elation

Passion

To tell your story 

Share your love

Fragility

Without brokenness

Is possible

With acceptance

Of your tribe

Of yourself

When you look

Really look

Into your own eyes

And see the depths 

Of your own soul 

Staring back

Change anything? 

Do it

Need something?

Ask

Don’t mourn what isn’t

Have joy for what could be

What will be

Stay open

Keep pressing

Never look back

Stop tripping

Over your past hauntings

You’re beyond all that

You’re not going that way

You are enough

Even in your fragility 

It’s who you are

And it’s 

OK

A Lady Bug Kind of Day

Oh Mommy- is that my lady bug? 

Can you get her for me? 

Giddy daughter, five years old

Hopping from one foot to the other

I watered the hanging plants in the back yard

I gently let a lady bug crawl on my finger 

Transferred the lady bug to an outstretched mini finger

She grinned from ear-to-ear

Shhh now, don’t scare her

A loud whisper roared, “Oh- I won’t Mommy, I won’t!”

“She likes me Mommy! Look at her go”

Hopping up & down 

The lady bug roamed from finger to hand 

Hand to elbow 

Elbow to shoulder 

And back down again 

Little Miss stood frozen watching her go

“Oh Mommy- look at her, isn’t she beautiful?”

Yes, yes she is and I was not talking about the lady bug

My deaf Australian shepherd crawled into my lap

Her bright blue eyes mimic the Florida sky

I kissed her soft, fuzzy head 

We watched the traveling lady bug

Travel on little fingers next to us

A lady bug kind of day

To reflect about the beauty of the wind, 

The sunshine, priorities & what they should be

A lady bug kind of day 

To reflect on TODAY

To appreciate, recognize, feel and connect 

To those we love & that matter most

Or should

Shhhh… don’t scare your lady bug! 

“Oh, I’m not Mommy- look at her go”

Lady bug perched on a freckled little shoulder 

Time, goes so fast as we age

One day we’ll wake up to a quiet house

Empty rooms

Lady bugs a faded memory 

What does your legacy look like?

What are you fighting for?

Five year old is fast asleep

Upset that she couldn’t bring her lady bug inside

Maybe I should have woken her

To find a few more lady bugs together

That’s what our days should be for

A lady bug kind of day