Withered, thin, gray, tired
Looking into your brown eyes and see no sparkle there
Welly eyed, deep sigh, blink loudly
How do I convey the desire for a long life
And the will to live that I hope for you
Which you do not hope for yourself?
A walker, fragile, a piece of cut and broken glass- azure blue
Chilly breeze blows through
Jackets thread bare and tattered
Friends arrive and laughter flows with sparkles
Whispers and jokes
Cheers and jeers
Found myself speechless
Baggage
I thought I was beyond, I thought was gone
Baggage
“She will definitely keep you warm”
The truth, out loud, not proud
Visions of thin, tall, long hair, not so curly, not so short, not so….
Fat
Baggage
No eye contact
Hunkered over a walker
Slaps on backs as if it was really something funny
Funny how we live in the past
Old memories, old photos, old man
Before me laughing, a sparkle at last
“She will definitely keep you warm”
Cowboy, icy blue eyes, cracked & tan face smiles
“I-like-a-lot-of-woman!”
Am I right here?
Less than three feet away?
Why did I come?
Why am I here?
“Mommy?”
Oh!
Dark brown eyes look up at me, an angelic smile… “Mommy!”
Oh!
A tug at my shirt, a beautiful little face
Oh!
“Mommy can I go play in the rocks?”
Rocks
Buried over secrets
Over lost dreams and hidden hopes
“Mommy?”
I have to go, I have to flee
I turn and someone stops me
“The old man looks good!”
A smile… “does he? Me? Oh yes, I’m fine…happy, yes. That’s my little girl; yes… she looks just like me.”
Flee towards the house, away
Inside my head the voices ring
“She will definitely keep you warm”, “I-like-a-lot-of-woman”
Why do I care?
Does it matter that I don’t measure up today just because… I-am-fat?
How do you measure success?
The lives we lead, hearts we touch, simple pleasures known only to close friends?
She will definitely keep you warm
That’s true
Today is today, I can’t help the past
No new pictures
No introductions
No acknowledgement
No account of today
Old pictures, old frames
Deep breath, deep sigh, lazy sadness lurking
How do you measure success?
Six figures?
Thin frame?
Perfect figure?
Ah!!
A love of your life?
Yes! Love, laughter, light
Release
This is not my burden to bear
Or my embarrassment
Ebb and flow
Weight on, weight off
It will come
Today I choose to love myself
As I am
Curves & all
And for today
That is enough
strengthdefined 