
Meandering

You cherished me knowing
I was not ready to cherish back
I felt your gaze & knew you loved me
I hate that I couldn’t love back
I’m sad for you, sad for me
If only it was a different time
But it wasn’t
I still have the missing
Missing you, missing us
It is simply not my time
Not my now
Cut the strings
To heal
To mend
To understand myself
No more brokenness
It stings
Cut strings
Almost feels like
Regret
Processing
Missing
Thinking
Overthinking
Rolling with it
Returning to my 1st true love
Eyes up
I cut the strings
Mourning them
And I don’t know why
Dark clouds loom
In the distance
Sunlight splinters its beauty
Illuminating the darkness
Destroying its embrace
Even in the simplicity
Of the light
Darkness
Can’t hide, can’t run
The light calls
To Courage
To Truth
To Love
To Forgiveness
To Freedom
Even in the darkness
Resides beauty
Waiting
Darkness cannot
Nor will not
Hold captive the beauty
Of the light that is coming
Simply believe
Have hope
A little faith
And wait for it
The light
Illuminating everything
Regret already
Or wonder
My forever?
Mourning
Vulnerabilities
Uncertain path
Fear
Similarities
Already missing
Confused
Wanting
Timing is off
Regret
During this season
Of a vulnerable heart
I never knew
Hatred
Such a prevalent force
So ugly
Frozen
A face of
Sunday masks
Stories so good
They swayed others
No one fighting
For the underdog
Or ask
Assumptions made
Crazy
Holding to the belief of
A plan
A hope
A future
Your life
My life
Our lives
The ugly
The diabolical
The entitled
Won’t matter
The plan
Already written
Angels already
Sent ahead
Prayers for
Fair
Truth
Peace
No fear
Of the dark
Not running
Standing
Owning
Knowing
There is a plan
Death quickens
Those seeking
To twist
And destroy
Warped realities
Make believe endings
Prayers cancel evil intent
The gloves are
OFF
Is there something wrong with me?
I feel damaged
As though I won’t
Recover or feel
What it feels like to have
Normalcy
I’m not equipped
I have moments
Of fear
Gripping me
I lose my footing
Shaking my head
Where is my bold & sassy self?
Have I lost you?
I must find you again
You deserve to be set
Free
You’re there somewhere
Find me
Heart pounding
Could this be true?
Words used loosely
Or were they?
I wanted to believe
But walls so tall
Nothing learned
Or the saying is true,
“It is what it is”
Just when I thought
I was wrong
I wasn’t
One day
I’d like to be
Wrong
Photo credit: woman of Ra Pinterest
Tornado sirens
Tornados
Beer & BBQ
Torrential down pour
Watching in awe
Uber’s
Awkward hotel neighbor
Stain glass windows
Cary Grant
Amazing suite
Laughter
Lots of it
Sleep- finally
Lazy loafing
In our underwear
Front row seats to Cardinal game
3rd base dugout
More beer
Face plant running up stairs
Tipsy
Beautiful faces
Too far down dark street
Drug deal 5ft from us
Vanilla Crown
Cookies
Homemade chips smothered in cheese
Room service
Budweiser tour
Clydesdales
Drag queens
Horrible country bar
Nasty Lyft driver
The blues
Best gumbo ever
Best sax player ever
Secrets whispered
Freedom
Janice
Laughter
Tears
Feeling family
Everywhere
One for the books
Missing you
Missing me
Distance can’t take
A sisterhood that withstands
Anything
Especially with us
In it together
Always
JJ McCreary
(St. Louis, Mo)